dentists fucking suck!

I didn't used to mind going to the dentist. I actually kinda liked it, cause my mouth feels so clean afterwards. I've never been scared of the dentist, its just more of an annoyance than anything. But whatever, you deal with it just like everything else. Now, I hadn't been to the dentist in a long time and when Juli and I got married and she then had dental insurance, she convinced me to go back. Whatever, I went; they said I had some plague build up and scraped the shit out of my gums - but that was it. Overall my mouth was in good shape. Juli on the other hand was a different story. See, she was trained as a child to hate and fear the dentist, therefore she hadn't been in even longer than me. Her teeth needed crowns and fillings and thingamabobs and shit, and all I know is that now I'm stuck with the fucking bill, so fuck the dentist and their $600 crowns. I joined the crowd, I hate them now too.

I love my mother

I love my mama. Today is her birthday, and I called her to tell her that I love her. I did forget to send her a card (e-cards don't count) or a present, so thats kinda lame I guess. Its actually not that I forgot, I just didn't do it in time. I have a really good idea of what to get my mama for her birthday, but I just haven't made the move to do so yet. So yeah, that's even better I think cause in a few weeks when she forgets all abouther birthday and how I missed getting her a present it will show up and be even better than if i got her one today. Happy Birthday Mama!

kill me now!

holy shit, i don't think i've ever been this hungover. I puked blood this morning, sweet. I never wanna drink again. I never want to go to that stupid bar again, i should have stayed home and watch movies with ms. preggo but no, i had to stay out. fucking cristina. never listening to her good ideas again. Lets take three shots of jager at dinner! yeah, that was smart. dumb drunk slut was as drunk as i was and ended up driving home to long beach, seriously fucking retarded. seriously.

babies smokin' the reefer

My little sister Jessie had a baby last Decmeber, his name is Luke Skywalker. You may have seen him before, he's kinda a regular on the blog (blag!) circuit. Anyway, she sent me this photo of him that she took after he smoked a bunch of reefer, then got mad munchies and destroyed all the snacks in the house. This is him caught red handed, stoned out of his mind after taking care of his munchies fix. Look at his eyes, he's so baked he didn't even realize that he ate a whole tupperware full of guacamole straight up!

It could be a boy...er...maybe?

So we went to the obgyn and even though we weren't supposed to get the ultrasound today (supposed to be 20 weeks) - we talked the doc into trying it anyway. There was an umbilical cord in the way and the baby wasn't iin the best position, but the doc said she thought she saw a little cock down there, so if she had to say - it is a boy. Two weeks from know we'll go to Hoag and get a proper one, until then - it's a boy!

It's a BOY!

Yup... We got an ultrasound, and the doctor thinks its a boy... What do you think?
just kidding... we'll find out later this afternoon.

The 4th of July

Ok, this is almost a week late... but here goes. On our nations day of independence we decided to celebrate by blowing up the backyard pool and inviting a few friends over for beers, bbq and good old american white trash fun. Fireworks, sunburn, dogs, ciggies, and even the girls pulled out the titties for a few poses, but Juli said I'm not allowed to post those, bummer. Here are a couple of highlights:

Gotta get the prep done. Filling up the pool o' fun.
I would have been as white as wade if I hadn't have burned the hell out of my stomach the weekend before. Check out Wade's sick cutoffs, fucking hippy.
Brad and Angelina aint got nothin' on us!
Just a couple of the beauties in the water...
Wade and Briana
The mutts: George, Hank and Jonesy
Wade tried to light his face on fire
Then we all had to hit the deck for the grand finale

One in the oven!

18 weeks and the belly is starting to come out! Almost halfway there... Tomorrow we find out the sex of the baby when we go get another ultrasound. Juli is acting like a kid at Christmas, ok so maybe we both are.

i'm going for the lobster look

It is really summertime here, it's really fucking hot. Saturday we took Jonesy to the doggy beach where he frolicked with the big boys and jumped in the water and had an awesome time. Sunday it was another scorcher, so we decided that it was time to open the wedding present from Briana and Wade and have a little private white trash pool party. I pumped up the pool with the air pump and began filling it with water, pulled some umbrellas over to make a little shade, grabbed a few chairs, plugged in the ol iPod for some tunes, cut up a pair of hideous pants for some swim trunks, and cracked open a beer. It was 10 am and already 85 degrees out so I sat down and started the party. Juli joined me eventually, as well as Jonesy and Boyes and Brit. It was nice out and the water was cool, keeping it nice and comfy. Juli kept bugging me to put on some sunscreen and I did eventually, but obviously now, i can say it was not enough. My stomach, chest and legs are burned pretty damn badly, like third degree burns. I look like a tourist from Ohio who spent the entire first day of his two week hawaiian vacation sleeping in the sun and now will spend the rest of it hiding indoors looking like some kind of freak half person, half lobster idiot. Yup, thats me - lobster idiot.

surf shred the gnar...ewwwww

Today I went surfing at lunch. I didn't expect much, as I haven't been surfing in a while, but I went with of bunch of boys from work. The waves were really fun, the water was really warm and crystal clear. It didn't quite look like this but it does now in my head. It felt good to be out in the water surfing again, I got some fun waves, some sun on my face and had a great time. Juli was home all day sick in bed, and even though I brought her lunch for some reason I still feel guilty for having fun while she sat home in bed. Hope you feel better tomorrow babe! XO

people and animals are damn lazy

Our house is a vacuum of laziness. Our house is also over-run with critters. I'm convinced that if you are an animal with red blood pumping through your veins and are inside our house for more than a few hours at a time you will be diminished to a pile of drooling laziness.Check out these photos for proof. Ok, so cats are pretty lazy anyway, but not these guys. They are ferocious most of the time. They are the captain and vice-captain of the Costa Mesa Killer Kitties Klub. Nazi Klan Kitties. CM-kkk! They stalk all birds of East 19th Street and bring us their dead bodies under the cover of darkness. Sometimes when we are sleeping they get tired of waiting for us to wake up and check out the dead bodies they have brought us, so they eat them and just leave us pieces, like a little birdie leg or two. Sometimes its an organ, a heart or kidney - liver I think they like the least.
Anyway, when not stalking the flying rats they get lazy. They'll sleep on the couch, on the floor, under the tables, on the bed, pretty much everywhere. They save their energy for the darkness when their blood begins to boil, then they attack.
He has no excuse. Jonesy is just a puppy of a few months, and puppies are full of energy right? Nope, they are full of laziness. Usually when he sleeps he twitches like he's getting chased by the Killer Kitties and they've got him up against a wall, then he'll wake up in the middle of the night and bark bloody murder.He also cries bloody murder since we've stopped letting him up on the bed with us at night. He'll whine and then retreat to his puppy palace consisting of a soft pillow on a doggy bed complete with toys and chewy things and snacks. He'll sleep for just long enough for us to get fast asleep and then begins with the whining again and I get up about 10 times in the middle of the night. That or he'll decide that the Killer Kitties are having too much fun without him and chase/bark/scream at them for a while at three am. Then we'll just let him back in bed where he'll claim our pillows and make us sleep sideways in bed so he can be comfortable. Damn vermin.

the family portrait

So this weekend the family went to go get Jonesy his round two of puppy shots. We reconvened at the puppy adoption place where his 11 or so brothers and sisters were and we were not surprised to see that Jonesy was the pick of the litter. He was by far the biggest, prettiest and most well behaved dog there, further leading us to believe that we pretty much just fuckin’ rule. Yup, our dog is better than your dog.

We then went to Celia’s house in Long Beach for a Sunday BBQ where the dogs frolicked in the yard and we sat around getting drunk and listening to Celia’s boyfriend (who used to be straight edge but recently has given in to the booze) chat it up. It was quite fun actually, the original plan was to stay sober but I ended up drinking a six-pack of Modelo and had a few shots and went home nice and buzzed. We were gonna go see Knocked Up, but that didn’t happen cause I kept opening more beers when Juli wasn’t paying attention, but it was ok cause we both ended up having a lot of fun. Note – being pregnant is actually pretty cool now that Juli is feeling better, I always have a designated driver which is always a good thing. Juli's friend took this picture of us with her new (but old) Polaroid camera that I thought turned out to be a quite nice family portrait.

Mmmmm, hotdogs

Man, this blogger shit started to get away from me, then I got inspired again by Nolo, so here goes: Speaking of the tall one, its his bday bash tonight at Avalon. So that means Mrs. Pregnant and I are going over to mingle with the hip crowd for about 20 minutes, then we'll probably get Alejandro's drive through and be home in bed by 10:30. Life's awesome when you're both pregnant.

People say you can tell a lot about a person from their dog. My dog is the brown guy on the left. Juli wanted to pose for a photo with Jonesy while he's still small enough for her to pick him up - he's been gaining about 5 pounds a week. Anyway, I think that saying about dogs is true cause if I was being held like this I'd be sticking out my tongue and rolling my eyes too. Today we are going to BBQ at the Volcom Skatepark in Costa Mesa... Mmmmm. Hotdogs.

makin' babies

So last night I showed Juli (my wife) this page and she starting laughing at me. Not the, “oh honey you’re so cute” kind of laugh, but the “you’re super gay” kind. I know this because right after she stopped laughing she said, “You’re suuuuuuuuper gay!” Yeah, and she drew out the super to put that extra exclamation on it. It actually made me a little self-conscious for a minute. Then I decided that I would use it as the catalyst to keep going and see how super gay I really can be. Thanks babe!

She’s pregnant with our first kid, by the way. She didn’t want me putting photos of the fetus on my myspace… but she didn’t say anything about here. I can’t find it though, so instead here’s a photo of my six-month-old newphew, Luke. He’s my sister’s first baby and pretty much the reason why Juli and I decided to take a stab (literally) at one. More on babies in the future, I think babies are super gay too.

puppies are gay too, but in an ok way...

Puppies are gay cause they'll stick their tongue in your mouth - or at least the one we got does. His name is Jonesy... He likes to chase his tail, lick his balls and chew on his rubber hot dog toy. And he likes to sleep in the bed with us but only if he lays on our pillows with our heads on them, basically he lays on our heads.

Jonesy is a Shepard mix. He's really cute until he starts chewing on my face at 4 in the morning.

blogs are gay!

yup, i said it. with that i have started the first entry in this, hence i am also gay. enjoy you creeps! yes, i'm talking about you, who is reading this right now.