Baby Sabotage?

Juli and I spent a beautiful summer Sunday afternoon up in Long Beach at her dad's friends house. They installed a nice above ground pool and since it was 90 degrees out we decided that we'd test out the waters. Doug and I cracked a few coldies and Juli hopped in the pool to relax in the sun. I went inside for a pee and when I returned I caught Juli sipping off my Coors Light. Was she trying to put a sabotage on the baby brewing in her belly? Was she upset that the ultrasound came back a boy? Was she just trying to get revenge on the 5 months of current sobriety? Can she handle the pressure of 5 more? Or did I strategically say, "Hold this for a sec, babe?" then grabbed my camera while she was unsuspectingly sunbathing? Only the dog really knows and only he cooperates when treats are involved... Until next time.

Man of the house

It has been confirmed by the ultrasound tech at Hoag, we are officially having a boy! Sweet. Even though Jessie (my sis) and two cousins (Katie and Lauren) have already had boys, this will be the first official Marshall baby. That rules, my sperm is awesome! Hooray for making babies! Here's another one of the rest of its body, not just the ween.

Today should be the day...

I say should because I guess there's never really a guarantee, but today we are going to Hoag to get a real ultrasound. Now that its been a few weeks since our doc said she thinks its a boy, I can't imagine us having a girl, but we'll see. They thought my brother Joey was a girl until the day he pierced the womb... Actually, he kinda is a girl. Anyway, I can't say that I would be bummed either way, but that doesn't mean I won't have my fingers crossed to see if there's little wiener in there. I guess its just a guy thing. Anyway, expect another update later for the the final conclusion of baby ultrasound #2.

The OC Fair is soooo not OC

Yesterday we laid around all most of the day and then decided that Sunday would be a good day to go to the Orange County Fair. Sunday. Yeah, I dunno what we were smokin’ but Sunday is definitely not the best day to go to the Orange County Fair. After parking about a mile away and walking in, we were surrounded by the biggest group of white trash, beer drinking, fried food eating, pig racing bunch of weirdos I’ve seen in long time. It reminded me a lot of Florida actually. We did eat some yummy food, which really was the main reason we went in the first place. I had a mile long hotdog and then Juli and I shared the best cinnamon roll we’ve ever had. We watched the Alaskan Pig Races and even though our pig lost, I found out that pigs can jump – never knew that. We pet some goats, pigs, sheep and stared at some llamas. Then we threw some darts at balloons and rode on the big ferris wheel (my favorite) and ate some more fried food yumminess. It was fun, I hadn’t been to the Fair in a long time and now I can happily say that I’m not going to go anytime soon.

I dunno who this kid is, i think Juli gave him a dollar to pose in the cutouts with me.
This is the fair from the top of the ferris wheel... impressive!
I had my money on harry porker, but spider ham took the win.
we were both really excited on the ferris wheel ride.
Juli was totally into the pigs, see how happy she is?
This llama spit on Juli's back right when I snapped this photo... I didn't have the heart to tell her.
I told her she had to make out with me on the ferris wheel.
Above the bright lights of Costa Mesa!
This is the big wheel from the bottom... scary!

getting fatter by the day!

So now Juli is 20 weeks (or 5 months in normal people talk) - what is it with pregnant people talking in weeks? For some reason when you become pregnant you all of a sudden tell time in weeks? I don't get it. Anyway, I'm definitely gonna take some shit for putting a photo of Juli in her underwear on the internet, but its only one step closer to pregnant porn... and that where the really big bucks start coming in! Got a little more convincing to do though. Anyway, Juli is not the only one putting on the pounds, Jonesy is also getting bigger by the second, he's more than doubled in size and close to tripled in weight since we got him. He's pretty much taking over the bed all night, pretty soon I'll be sleeping on the couch, can't wait. Yup, dogs and fat chicks, thats all I've got these days. Just kidding, pregnant is not fat, its pregnant - i've been through this one 100 times already. So yeah, I'm pretty much sleeping on the couch no matter what after she reads this one. Oh yeah and by the way, remember way back when she made so much fun of me for doing this? Look up in the top right corner and you'll find a link to her blog. If you can't beat 'em, join em!P.S. Orange County Fair photos and BLOG coming up real soon...

dentists fucking suck!

I didn't used to mind going to the dentist. I actually kinda liked it, cause my mouth feels so clean afterwards. I've never been scared of the dentist, its just more of an annoyance than anything. But whatever, you deal with it just like everything else. Now, I hadn't been to the dentist in a long time and when Juli and I got married and she then had dental insurance, she convinced me to go back. Whatever, I went; they said I had some plague build up and scraped the shit out of my gums - but that was it. Overall my mouth was in good shape. Juli on the other hand was a different story. See, she was trained as a child to hate and fear the dentist, therefore she hadn't been in even longer than me. Her teeth needed crowns and fillings and thingamabobs and shit, and all I know is that now I'm stuck with the fucking bill, so fuck the dentist and their $600 crowns. I joined the crowd, I hate them now too.

I love my mother

I love my mama. Today is her birthday, and I called her to tell her that I love her. I did forget to send her a card (e-cards don't count) or a present, so thats kinda lame I guess. Its actually not that I forgot, I just didn't do it in time. I have a really good idea of what to get my mama for her birthday, but I just haven't made the move to do so yet. So yeah, that's even better I think cause in a few weeks when she forgets all abouther birthday and how I missed getting her a present it will show up and be even better than if i got her one today. Happy Birthday Mama!

kill me now!

holy shit, i don't think i've ever been this hungover. I puked blood this morning, sweet. I never wanna drink again. I never want to go to that stupid bar again, i should have stayed home and watch movies with ms. preggo but no, i had to stay out. fucking cristina. never listening to her good ideas again. Lets take three shots of jager at dinner! yeah, that was smart. dumb drunk slut was as drunk as i was and ended up driving home to long beach, seriously fucking retarded. seriously.

babies smokin' the reefer

My little sister Jessie had a baby last Decmeber, his name is Luke Skywalker. You may have seen him before, he's kinda a regular on the blog (blag!) circuit. Anyway, she sent me this photo of him that she took after he smoked a bunch of reefer, then got mad munchies and destroyed all the snacks in the house. This is him caught red handed, stoned out of his mind after taking care of his munchies fix. Look at his eyes, he's so baked he didn't even realize that he ate a whole tupperware full of guacamole straight up!

It could be a boy...er...maybe?

So we went to the obgyn and even though we weren't supposed to get the ultrasound today (supposed to be 20 weeks) - we talked the doc into trying it anyway. There was an umbilical cord in the way and the baby wasn't iin the best position, but the doc said she thought she saw a little cock down there, so if she had to say - it is a boy. Two weeks from know we'll go to Hoag and get a proper one, until then - it's a boy!

It's a BOY!

Yup... We got an ultrasound, and the doctor thinks its a boy... What do you think?
just kidding... we'll find out later this afternoon.

The 4th of July

Ok, this is almost a week late... but here goes. On our nations day of independence we decided to celebrate by blowing up the backyard pool and inviting a few friends over for beers, bbq and good old american white trash fun. Fireworks, sunburn, dogs, ciggies, and even the girls pulled out the titties for a few poses, but Juli said I'm not allowed to post those, bummer. Here are a couple of highlights:

Gotta get the prep done. Filling up the pool o' fun.
I would have been as white as wade if I hadn't have burned the hell out of my stomach the weekend before. Check out Wade's sick cutoffs, fucking hippy.
Brad and Angelina aint got nothin' on us!
Just a couple of the beauties in the water...
Wade and Briana
The mutts: George, Hank and Jonesy
Wade tried to light his face on fire
Then we all had to hit the deck for the grand finale

One in the oven!

18 weeks and the belly is starting to come out! Almost halfway there... Tomorrow we find out the sex of the baby when we go get another ultrasound. Juli is acting like a kid at Christmas, ok so maybe we both are.

i'm going for the lobster look

It is really summertime here, it's really fucking hot. Saturday we took Jonesy to the doggy beach where he frolicked with the big boys and jumped in the water and had an awesome time. Sunday it was another scorcher, so we decided that it was time to open the wedding present from Briana and Wade and have a little private white trash pool party. I pumped up the pool with the air pump and began filling it with water, pulled some umbrellas over to make a little shade, grabbed a few chairs, plugged in the ol iPod for some tunes, cut up a pair of hideous pants for some swim trunks, and cracked open a beer. It was 10 am and already 85 degrees out so I sat down and started the party. Juli joined me eventually, as well as Jonesy and Boyes and Brit. It was nice out and the water was cool, keeping it nice and comfy. Juli kept bugging me to put on some sunscreen and I did eventually, but obviously now, i can say it was not enough. My stomach, chest and legs are burned pretty damn badly, like third degree burns. I look like a tourist from Ohio who spent the entire first day of his two week hawaiian vacation sleeping in the sun and now will spend the rest of it hiding indoors looking like some kind of freak half person, half lobster idiot. Yup, thats me - lobster idiot.